The video-game effect?

We've all heard of the possible effects that violent computer/video games have on teens and children. I have played games like Blood, Quake, Roadrash etc during my younger days. And always believed this theory to be rubbish. I was forced to change my mind.

Why? Because of this small incident:

We are driving on a city road, stopped at the signal. Right in front of our car is a biker....They make a gr8 sight...fully geared from top to toe....helmets, gloves, jackets, knee pads and what not. Just looking at the bike reminded me of 'Roadrash'..Similar attire of the biker and similar type of motorbike...width of the tires really impresses me :)

As the signal turned green, he took a left turn, we followed and eventually overtook him. The thoughts/images that crossed my mind during the overtake were startling...As i saw him to our car's left, i suddenly imagined myself prodding him with a stick, kicking and punching until he fell.....poor guy...i didnt even see his face, but the imagination startled me....The source is undoubtedly Roadrash. But, its been years ii have played it, or any computer game for that matter (except for text twist on yahoo games)...

Yes, now i believe in the opening sentence i wrote in this post...If it could affect me this way, what the games must be doing to young impressionable minds is unfathomable. God, help me keep my daughter away from that stuff....and hopefully ensure her sanity.

The Canine story

I don't know how...but this particular afternoon, i did something different....watched TV...

There was this show called 'Martha', where first Martha got us watching some pasta recipe by a chef in NY. It went well.
After the break, she got a guest on the set. Some animal training specialist lady. Martha had got her own dog on the set. The guest showed a small demo of how to teach her to sit, by using food as a reward.....
Then it was the live audience's turn to put forward their problems and get answers from the 'Expert'

Audience member 1: My dog 'abc' always pees in a particular corner of the house. I take him out for a walk in the yard. But he never does anything there. Always in this special corner at home.
Expert: Just make sure you make that corner inaccessible to him. Build a wall, make a partition do whatever....

(They never call a dog a dog. They always use the species name, which i am totally illeterate about. So i'll go ahead and call dog a dog in my post)

Audience membe 2: I have 2 dogs. One of them is very quiet and other is aggressive. He creates problems for people coming in or going out. I don't know how to handle him
Expert: Well, first you really need to get him analysed. Is he truly aggresive or just being bossy? ........@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@

PHEW! rest of it was inaudible/ illegible/ incomprehensible..whatever. It just got stuck in my throat....ears? whatever. I would really love to meet the person who does a psychoanalysis for dogs......

I got myself back together during the commercial break.

Now, the expert is not to be seen (Thank God) Martha is standing at a table with some craft items. She expertly cuts the piece of cloth to make it a Fern leaf. "its a little time consuming, you gotta be specially careful around the Fronds." (right, so she did attend her botany classes.) Then you fold it right down the center and steam iron it. Just to give it a more natural look." She sticks two such leaves together, ties them to a longish thread. Puts a small bell on it...and Eureka...here's a toy for your cat. (felines were not left out of the show....that could have led to a litigation hassle i guess). Then you make a loop at the far end of the thread.

Martha: You can put it on your doorknob, in the yard, in the kitchen....the thing is so light, you can just swing it like this (she demostrates) and the cat will follow you. We have also put in a small bell here. Cats love bells...And this thing will sure be irrestible for your cat.

Anyone knows the saying "Who is gonna bell the cat?"

Braving the storm

Jan 6 was supposedly the worst storm in 5 years in bay- Area. Streets were flooded it seems...Well...my sandals just got wet. Thats called flooding....
Haevy rains lashed the city....2.5 to 4 inches rainfall recorded in 24 hrs...Gosh...If these people go to Mumbai they'll have a heart attack just looking at the rain..
One million people had power outage ..resulting from fallen electricity poles....for a few hours that is...Someone should acqauint them with this term called 'Load shedding'!!!

Hubby got a mail in the office:

"To those in Sunnyvale who braved the storm and made it into work today:

Please be aware that the high winds are causing large branches to break free from the various large trees around the buildings and the parking lots.

Please take care to keep your distance when walking outside and avoid parking around them, too. Today would be a good day to park in the parking structures.

Stay dry,

Ed."

Work? we go for picnics in such weather. The fallen trees they mention are just twigs, some large, yes agreed. (That too they are just bare twigs...Leaves are all gone a month back...) But nothing to make a fuss about....Anyone could get down from the car and move the fallen tree...but no...they will wait for the authorities to do it...

People had problem driving...skidding tyres...and wind to add to that. Thats a genuine one...But the solution is the simplest thing in the world. Ask any rickshaw-wala in Mumbai...or bike rider in Pune "Drive Slow"...But if u insist on 50mph ....expect the skid...luckily there are no potholes the car can disappear in...

We had a nice laugh reading about the storm and people's comments...Yes there is the snow storm in the north, and damaged houses in some areas. Not here though. For us , this is beautiful weather...

My brother says i am being unfair....I should not compare it to India/ Mumbai/ Pune...But i can't help doing it...I have a friend in Florida...i asked him once about the so-called Hurricanes/ Tornadoes Florida is notorious for...He said, Its just like the rains in Mumbai. These people make a bigger hue and cry. Thats all..

Now i believe him. If this thing here is a "Storm"...Mumbai had an armageddon on 26Jul 05'...and we survived it...

Sign board

Have you seen boards on highways like: "Slow men at work" There has to be a '!' after the word slow....i have always thought..anyaways.....Then there is stuff like Construction zone ahead...etc...

This was a nice one i saw on the LA- SFO freeway:

"Your tax dollars at work!!!
Slow down, highway repair
Estimated finish time: so-and-so date"

You immediately relate to it, makes u aware that "Hey I am paying for this"

And the transparency about the expected finish date is impressive...

Impressive indeed..

Conversation

Part of a conversation with an american lady...age 60...working for some security company,.....used to be a truck driver...

Location: Mcdonald's

You are from India?
Yes
Ok. You must have had an arranged marriage
mmm...No
Ah, thats surprising. You are the first Indian woman i am meeting who has not had an Arranged marriage.
Is that so? Surprising.
You know, I saw a documentary about India. Small kids are married off....8,9,10. Is that true?
Sadly, it is still a reality in remote parts of the country. But not in cities.
Ya, i heard the cities are getting Americanised?
Americanised? Modernised you mean to say? Yes they are..
And if the in-laws don't like a girl, they just beat her up?
It does happen. But the woman stands up and fights. Education is making a difference. Women's lib is catching up...or the female empowerment as they say here in US.

My daughter finished her fries by this time and started chatting up...in marathi

What language is that?
Thats Marathi
Ah, does she speak American?
American?? err. she understands, but does not speak.(me in my mind - I thought the Americans spoke English?
U plan to send her to a pre-school?
Yes, Of course
Good, they will teach her American there....Then she will teach you as well.
@#@#@#mmmm...Thanks....(Again in my mind : I was talking to u in AMERICAN all this while? Wasn't I?)

As we take her leave, the matter for this post is ready in my mind...:-)

Some weather report that!!!

Am watching NEWS....
Newsreader : Lets go over to mr.XYZ ...for weather report.....we are expecting heavy rain in the bay area for next few days...he'll give us the details...

Mr.xyz : Well, first of all, its not going to be HEAVY rain

(Newsreader's voice in the background : ) : Ok ...Substantial rain ???laughs

xyz: Not even substantial....it going to rain...thats all....

Geos on to show the satellite picture and all....showing the clouds in the sea moving on to the bay-area...gives temperatures table for next 4 days.
And concludes ; "Tomorrow 6 pm...Its going to rain...You bet!!!"


That takes my mind to the weather report back home "Heavy to very heavy rain expected in the next 48 hours"...we know how reliable even that is.

Was left wondering whether mr.xyz was displaying his Supreme confidence, expertise and self-belief....Or was it the arrogance we typically associate with Americans?

I was about to find out in less that 24 hours.

Next day morning- very sunny ..no signs of rain...Starts getting dark and cloudy by noon. By 5 it is pitch dark with cool wonds blowing....hmmm 6'o clock came and went no rain.....I smile to myself.....it was the arrogance after all....It rains at 11:30 in the night...thats still 5 and half hours too late.

Next day i see in the news that the north bay - San francisco region got rains in the evening.....Oops.....

Moral of the story - How judgemental do we get?

value for life?

Been ages since i wrote my last post....
Have been in the US for about a month. Lots of new stuff coming up every day...what with stuff like SSN, Driving license, playschool for daughter....we are just counting our dollars....
The first thing that struck me here is the value of life as against our homecountry. We are walking miles and miles together...no Car....And have never felt so safe walking. The signal system is so pedestrian friendly and even without it, am yet to come across a car driver who hasn't stopped to let us cross. We, as pedestrians feel we rule the road......in stark contrast to India. Back home, me, as a pedestrians was totally at the mercy of car drivers zooming past. So much better here.

The heavy feeling which i cannot explain is definately there. The feeling which keeps reminding me - I am away from home.... won't go so easily. There is this prosperity and the lifestyle thing with US. No doubt. But this value for life thing is so impressive. I would love to take it home with me.

The uncommon sense

April has just started and the water shortage is already in place.

Just two days back, there was a similar shortfall in the PMC supplied water. The watchman did his duty of going to every flat and saying "Peene ka pani bharke rakho"

Half an hour later, i can hear some water splashing outside. Go out only to discover that the upper floor people are washing their terrace with buckets full of precious water. I was simply dumbstruck for a moment. Do you call them ignorant or stupid? Or simply deaf? The watchman had to leave his "watching the gate" duty and go all the way to the 5th floor - just to tell them to stop.

Its was beyond making me angry. All i could do was pity their brains. Gosh...When are we going to have the 7th sense- CIVIC sense???

Dumb student- Smart teacher

Have been tutoring some 11th standard kids for German. Had 3 students and things were going smoothly until the fateful call last week. A distressed parent. Please take tuitions for my son. But. the exams are just about a month away!! I know, but teach whatever you can in the time you have. A month is too less. Please, at least teach him grammar. Could not say no

Took me 10 minutes with the student to realise that his level was even below the "Ich bin, Du bist, er/sie/es ist" ( I am, You are, he/she/it is.) Had to start right from there. How on earth is he going to write his exam next month. Agreed, he had no tuitions till date. But, he could not even pick the basics from the school teacher? Gosh. Thats dumb. Why did i ever agree to teach him? Had given away my peace of mind for a few hundred rupees.

Was telling a friend about this and she put forward a new theory. "You cannot expect to have only smart students. Smart ones can learn even from a dumb teacher. But to teach a dumb student, the teacher has to be smart" Oh, how true. Have serious work to do on my teaching skills and the attitude. Am glad i got this new student, a new challenge. Uh, did i say 'pain in the neck'? No, no. That was me 4 days back. I always said "I can tolerate ignorance, but not stupidity" Egoistic thinking that. Time to change. And my new student is going to be the catalyst(Guinea Pig?). God save him!!!

Woman's Day

I missed out an issue in my previous post about women - Maid. How could i miss such an important topic? Its not exaggeration - Maids are major catalysts in all the gossip happening around. They do the important job of adding fuel to the fire. My last maid was just one of those types, i would try my best to avoid any conversation with her. That was not all. My watch, some lipsticks etc. started disappearing. She had two young daughters who would frequently come to fill in for her. Had a doubt about them. I spoke to her directly about this (am quite notoroius for all this direct talk.) She denied it vehemently, but i was convinced she was the culprit. Decided to give her another chance inspite of it all. but eventually, the late coming, staying-absent-without-informing got to my nerves, finally i fired her.

Replaced her with a new maid. This one was the opposite of the former. She would never speak a word, work quietly and leave. No remaining absent, comparable only to the sun which never fails to rise. I did boast to my female friends at times, "what a catch of a maid i got you see".

Its been almost a year and i have not had a single problem. After a few months though, her silence started disturbing me. She would come (on time, of course) and just go about her work. The same silence which i just loved before started getting uncomfortable. There seemed a deep-rooted trouble. Was really keen on talking to her, asking her about her family, her life. Restrained myself though. Its bad manners i have been taught, probing into someone's private life.

The ice was broken today, thanks to some laddoos. My mom had given me some laddoos, a little too many in fact. I don't like sweets, hubby is rarely at home to feast on them, and daughter is too small. Gave her a few laddoos for her children, thats when she said, 'I have no children'. The rest of the story came out real fast. The gist is 'She lived in Mumbai- Masjid Bandar in a slum with her husband. Corporation had promised them a rahabilition. A house in Mankhurd. She was pregnant with her first child at the same time. Dream come true- a pretty child in arms, a new house. (i didn't know corporation gave 1 BHK flats. thought it would be just a small room, at the most 2). She was admitted to JJ hospital in Mumbai for some complications in pregnancy. A recommended C-section was blown by a trainee doctor, it seems. She lost her son. Could never have another baby. Her husband left her (he wanted a child) and moved into the corporation-given-new-house with his new wife. She moved in with her mother, thats when the Mumbai riots happened. They moved to Pune to stay with her maternal aunt and have been here since then.'

She told me the whole story without a trace of any emotion on her face. Its been many years, but a samll tint of grief flashed in her eyes when she said, 'Aaj majha mulga asta tar 15 varshacha asta' (Had I had the son, he would have been 15 years old by now) I said, its good he never saw the world. With the useless father that he had, life would have been difficult for him. As soon as i said these words, i realised how hollow they were. Should have never said it. I am myself a mother. How could i say such a cruel thing?

Anyway, i quickly changed topic and brought her to the present. She goes home by 2 in the afternoon. Has time in the evenings. I suggested she learn something- may be stitching, embroidery etc. I can pay the fees for her. She might not be able to do all this hard-work after a few years. but she can definitely sit at home at stitch to earn a living. She just smiled.

This woman's day, the above conversation has got me thinking about the plight of women in India. I read "Chicken Soup for a Woman's soul" which has short stories about women's hardships. Have also been senti over a few of them. But those stories are just nothing. The Indian woman is much stronger, faces troubles unimaginable for the westerners, and still does not come up with a "Chicken Soup" series.